Growing the Grissoms

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New Year, New Adventures

Confetti Wish

Today is the day everyone looks back and reflects on the past year…the positives, the not so great moments, and then they reflect on the things they would like to do differently in the upcoming year.

Last night, we were blessed to be able to watch the ball drop from Times Square….everything can be described in one word…”magical.”

Im still soaking it all in, sitting in the hotel room typing this, my view in the window is the ball and the blinding light “2018”. Every few minutes a piece of confetti will float by the window, and I think “there goes someone’s wish.” For those that do not know, you are able to write your wish for 2018 on the confetti before it is released for the New Year. This being my view I felt it necessary to tell everyone what our 2018 is going to look like, and our confetti wish. 2018 for the Grissoms is a year full of hope, blessings, and new adventures. In order to tell you where we are going, I must tell you our story and where we have been.

I am writing this for several reasons:

To look back on one day and smile while holding our baby/babies. I will read them the post in the wee hours of the morning to let them know I prayed for them every night when they were just a dream.
To keep our family and friends informed of our journey. There are so many people that have been praying for us, even complete strangers. I could never thank everyone enough for the prayers…we have felt them in our darkest days and our celebrations.
I also want to share our experience with couples going through the same struggle. Whether you have been in this for two months, 1 year, or 10 years, it hurts. I want people to know they are not alone. I am happy to lend a listening ear to someone who needs to vent. I have a list of women that I pray for every night, and would love to add your name to it. There are so many people that are helping me through this process, and I hope that my struggle turns into someone’s help.
To give all the praise to God. I would be lying if I said I always run to God first when things don’t go my way. I have questioned him, cried, literally screamed why? But one song always pops in my mind and I sing these lyrics when things aren’t going our way “This is my story, this is my song, praising my savior, all the day long” I want to always remember to praise him. It may not being going my way, but no matter what it is going HIS way, and that is better than any plan I have.

Let me take you back to 2016…JUST MARRIED, and ready to start our family….things weren’t going as planned, and the disappointment month after month was hard to understand. We were sent to Arkansas Fertility Clinic, where test after test was given. Everything seemed to be going great, “right on track.” We were given medicine, then sent on our way to make our family. After more disappointing months, we found a doctor in Conway. I was put on a different medication and then you guessed it, more disappointing months. With the help of our WONDERFUL doctor, we decided it was time to move on. We moved onto IUIs (intrauterine insemination). I just knew that moving onto this next step was going to be the trick to growing the Grissoms. We had our first insemination, and during that two week wait, I did what I do best…plan…I just knew it worked, so I thought of how we would tell our parents, and EVERYTHING in-between. Well the two weeks slowly creeped by, and the “no” couldn’t have slapped me any harder.

So we moved on, insemination number two. Once again, we knew for sure this was it…after all, two is our lucky number, but unfortunately it wasn’t this time.

So in the middle of all of our prayers, and continuing to keep our head up, we moved onto number three.

Since insemenation’s three and four have the highest success rates we were devastated when we learned three did not do the trick…so we moved onto surgery. I had gone into my doctor and cried to her that I did not understand why this was not working. She mentioned that I could have surgery to check for endometriosis, even though I showed no symptoms. After many hours of research, consideration, and prayer…we decided to go through with the surgery.

These pictures were post surgery, so that smile on my face is the medicine. My doctor called me later on with GREAT news, FINALLY!!!! She said when she went in I was “eaten up” with endometriosis and she was able to remove it all. Who would have thought having severe endometriosis would be great news? But I was tired of test after test that told us nothing.

So we moved onto insemination number four. Most people have 3-4 IUIs before moving on, and we were so excited to get onto number four since all of the endometriosis was out, we were ready for our miracle.

My sis-in-law is the best at giving shots…ignore that post surgery swollen belly…but that’s just some of the beauty of this process I guess. 😉

Then here we were again, post surgery, and the fourth insemination failed. So with our mindset that we would try one more time before moving on, we had IUI number 5.

Christmas Day was the moment of truth…would we receive a Christmas miracle and find out that the fifth one worked?

It was as if I couldn’t breathe on Christmas morning, it had failed… but how? I just wanted to know why. We spent the holidays with our amazing family where we told that we have decided to move on…and now that you know our lives for the past two years summed up, I am sharing with you that we are onto our next step…

We hope that you will follow along with us…we will be traveling to Dallas, TX in hopes of our miracle coming in 2018. It will be a very long road for us full of more shots, procedures, medicine, and some unknowns. We know that we can only make it through this adventure with our family and friend’s support, and A LOT of prayer. God is on our side!

There are many reasons 2018 is going to be a great year. One of my best friend’s husband comes back from a year deployment, Matt’s sister Bailey is getting married, we will continue to pray that we will have miracle nieces or nephews in our future for Katie and Skylar, and my other best friend is bringing two miracles into this world soon.

Another piece of confetti just flew by, and I have a feeling that was our wish for 2018.

Why Not Me, Why Not Us?

Over the past two years I have found myself, I guess what you could call, “in denial.” The first two months of our struggle, thinking surely this will happen soon, and nothing is wrong. After six months, worry starts to set in. A year, and you are medically diagnosed “infertile.” Two years, five failed IUI’s and surgery, you start to realize this is it, but for some reason I refused to ever accept it. Thinking, Surely not me, I’m meant to be a mom, after all my mom said I refused to go anywhere as a child without three baby dolls in tow; and surely I’ll be one of those stories you hear all the time….”my friend quit stressing about it and that’s the month she got pregnant.”

Of course, the past two weeks it has become more real than ever. Every shot is a reminder that this is our life, this is our story. In my first blog I said I often sing the song to myself “This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long.” While at times I have refused to accept this is our story… it is our story, it is our song, and we have praised our Savior for this journey. You see, often times I found myself saying “why me, why us?” and that has recently turned into “why not me, why not us?” The day I wrote my first blog I decided to turn this struggle into our story, and our song. I was so nervous, telling Matthew, “people probably won’t even care, but I sure hope I help at least one person.” Let’s just say my mind was and is still blown. Y’all… this is a very common struggle. One in eight women struggle with infertility. I wish you could see my Facebook inbox of messages from total strangers, old friends, and new ones. It is full of people that are in the struggle that I can now pray for, and pray for us. Full of friends wanting to know how to help their friends going through this struggle. People that just want us to know they are praying for us, or asking if there is anyway they can help. Even husbands have messaged Matthew to discuss the struggle of watching your wife go through infertility. Y’all that is some powerful stuff, not to mention melt your heart sweet when men reach out to other men to help their wives. My wonderful sister in law created a group called In The Wait on Facebook and it is full of women in the wait, or have been there and now have their success story. It is wonderful to see so many women praying for each other. So you will never hear me say “why me, why us?” again. You will always hear “why not me, why not us?” because God knew we would take our struggle to not only bring us closer in our marriage, but closer to God, and use it to help others.

After a very long 11 days, (well two years actually) tomorrow at 7:45 a.m. our time is FINALLY here. For the last 11 days I have been filling my body with one injection in the morning and two at night. I have gone every day for blood work, and an ultrasound. Last night we took our last injection to prepare my body for our “retrieval” in the morning.

I understand this is a very hard process to follow, so I’ll give you the Cliffs Notes version. You can skip ahead if you don’t want me to bore you with details. For 11 days I have done what is called STIMS (injections to grow follicles). Follicles produce eggs. I have produced 20 large follicles (yay!) Tomorrow at retrieval they will take how ever many have matured into eggs. Then, they will turn into embryos for approximately 5 days. We are doing a “frozen transfer” therefore I will not have them implanted for a while…. (I don’t like that I have to wait, but I’ve waited two years, I figure I can wait a little bit longer). During this time I will be on another injection daily to prepare my body for transfer day. And then, finally, we will officially be Growing the Grissoms.

We are so thankful for all of the prayers from family, friends, strangers, and people adding us to their prayer chains at church. So many people have asked “what can I specifically pray for?” My answer has been to please pray that everything stays on track, and guess what… it did! It is very rare that these last two weeks follow the calendar that they give you at the beginning, but mine has followed it exactly. I believe that has been due to so many people praying specifically.

Believing in the power of prayer, I would like to ask for specific prayers. Although we are not able to be with our family and friends and gather together physically, I know that there is no distance when it comes to prayer. Tomorrow, specifically at 7:45 a.m. please pray, so we can “gather” in distance and pray that my retrieval will go according to planned, that my body will have developed healthy eggs and they remain healthy, Matthew and I to have calm nerves, and God have his hands on the doctor’s hands as they perform the procedure. We cannot thank everyone enough for your love, support, and prayers… we have felt them, and appreciate you reaching out to us more than you know.

Still Growing the Grissoms,

Haley

Every Seat Has a Story

Back in late January I made a Facebook & Instagram post with the picture below. I captioned it “Every Seat Has a Story…but ours is my favorite.” We were getting ready to board the flight, our first trip to Dallas to see the fertility specialists. I was nervous, anxious, and full of questions. As I sat in the terminal, I saw several advertising signs, “Every Seat Has a Story” with a picture of a couple you could infer were headed to the beach or a team headed to a championship. The signs very similar to the commercials. As I boarded the plane (we always sit in the back) I couldn’t help but think “what’s their story?” as I passed everyone already seated. Then I found my seat and began to think about our story, so here is seat 23F’s story…

If you read my last blog you know we have tried several options to “Grow the Grissoms.” So here we were, late January ready to conquer 2018 and whatever it had in store, and get our “confetti wish.” After all, we have been through 2 surgeries, five failed IUI’s, multiple doctors, shots, medicine, etc. If you can name it, we’ve tried it.

My appointment was set for January 26th. I went in praying that we would get answers, and praying that we had made the right choice to come to Dallas. God provided for us in a big way. We left there extremely pleased with next steps and answers to the problem. Matthew and I both are extremely confident that we made the right decision to come to Dallas, and know that God led us to exactly where we need to be. We had a consultation to discuss everything, and for her to answer all of our questions. I also had an ultrasound done that day. The ultrasound showed that the endometriosis has moved to inside both of my ovaries. Unfortunately, once it is in there, you are not able to remove it without removing the ovary. Since it is in both of mine, our doctor told us in-vitro is our next option.

Since then, things have moved so quickly (the way I like for them too). If this process has taught me anything, it is patience. So many people have contacted me, reached out to us, prayed for us, and asked for updates. So I would like to keep everyone updated so that you can continue to pray as we see the light at the end of the tunnel.

We came home January 28th, so excited and full of hope. What an emotional roller coaster this day was. We came home, went to see my Papa, then to see my friend Lindsey’s sweet twins that I couldn’t wait to get my hands on.

What a day to see precious life brought into the world with the blessing of her twins. Unfortunately, very early the next morning, I got a phone call that my sweet grandpa had passed away. He was everything you would want in a grandpa, and nothing hurts more than to know I have to finish this process without him. He always asked how this process was going and for any updates. I prayed constantly that he would live to see his future great grand babies. I will always tell them the millions of memories I have, and what an honorable man he was. I will always carry with me “it is what it is” throughout this process because that was always his solution to any problem.

A couple of weeks later, February 12th, we set off to Dallas again for another appointment the next day. This time, I had a very minor procedure (sonohysterogram) to ensure everything was ready to start the in-vitro process. We also met with our nurse to discuss our calendar, and to get the process started.

Last week, my injections arrived. To be honest the first thing I did when I opened the box was cry. It is very overwhelming. I did not have a clue what to do with any of it. I think I was more crying due from trying to process that it has come to this. Every doctor has told us in-vitro is always the last step, and here it was all staring at me.

On Friday the 23rd, we went back to Dallas. At this appointment they taught us how to do all of the injections, and they were able to put my mind at ease a little bit. This time my mom and Jett joined us for the trip, and the boys were able to enjoy some time at the Cowboys practice facility across from our Doctor’s office.

I started injections on Sunday the 25th and that is also the day we came home.

My mom and I turned around on Tuesday the 27th to head back down here to Dallas. My calendar is planned to be here for now until March 9th. This is if everything stays on track. We are praying so hard that everything stays on track!! I have to be monitored at the doctor with blood work and ultrasounds to be told how much of my injections to give myself daily during this time. Today is day 5 of injections. Honestly, they are becoming a little harder to give myself due to swelling, bruising, and tenderness…but I know it will all be worth it in the end.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for monitoring. I had 19 follicles (potential eggs), and my blood work looked great, which is great news. However, it is possible to overstimulate, so I have been told to rest, and had my medicine dosages lowered. I was also told to add another injection to the ones I am already taking in the morning and at night.

We are so thankful for all of the text, phone calls, and most of all prayers during this time. While we wait for our confetti wish, we will continue to update you.

~Haley
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